Rules And Tips For Boyz Club
by Jackie Arko
Photo: © Depositphotos.com/photography33

1. Must be a boyz.

2. Must love virdeo games.

3. If you are not on a spurts team you have to have something else cool happening to you or you are KICKED OUT of Boyz Club sorry

5. Follow your drams and dream them very hard.

6. Use a goo 2 tell the hairs where to go.

7. The one in the middle gets the Big sugarcorn.

8. Save monies for a Hummer and decorate it like a mansion on tires because THAT IS WHAT IT IS.

9. Do not worry about girlz EVAR! They are too busy draming up the perfect lipstock to be worth any thinking!!!!

10. Swish bleach for your mouth stones, they are the ones you will have forever now.

10. Enjoy hardcore prons but only alone or in a bathroom or with the woman of your drams.

11. Think with a positive brain even when it is hard to be the best sometimes or have a normal penis

12. Imagine a muscle body for yourself and ACHIEVE IT but not like a big giant or you will be way too much boyz and you will make the other Boyz feel sad and normal.

13. When things are boring, search for clothes on the Internet or shoot a yard animal with a b-b gun.

D. But if there is a dog make sure you PET HIM because otherwise he could turn on you in a time of need and not rescue you from the river.

E. Hug you’re mom because you came out of her body-hole head first unless you were a breeched birth and if you were, remember there is nothing wrong with butting out of your mom

F. You can be a better person so easy just by putting things in the cloth bags at a store so even though it is weird to buy a cloth store bag JUST BUY ONE AND DO IT and stop being a dickbag about the Earth.

* During virdeo game time sit close to your boyz so that you are able to smeel their body juice on yourself like a wolf when you are in you’re own house later and need Tender Moments.

G. If a girlz wants you to open the dumb door for her just shut up and do it because what if she was ur sister or something or even your mom or someone else’s mom like Robert’s mom or my mom she should not have to open a door EVAR

H. Remember that sometimes things are best when they are never talked about again evar and sometimes even they have to be dead to truly go away shhhhhhhhh do not tell anyone

14. If you get a boner at the mall dont hide the boner but tell your friends that you have a boner and they will definitely help you.

14. If you want frozen yogert that is ok just don’t tell anyone outside of Boyz Club and DO NOTt put fruits or the juice balls in it.

15. If you want to quit Boyz Club and be a dumb girlz you can But in order to do it you have to burn your penis for 5 seconds straight with a paper clip that has been held over a matchflame and you CAN NOT LIE THAT YOU DID IT IF YOU DID NOT TOBY so THINK ABOUT THIS before you join Boyz Club

16. If you have questions you are able to ask them but do not ask anything that’s hard because Boyz Club is for easy living and not making answers!!!!!

***

Jackie Arko has been doing, teaching, directing, and producing comedy basically nonstop since 2007. She is a founding member of Fine Line Comedy and a cast member of the indie Harold team Maxitor, supergroup Bearcats, and comedy duo Resting Bitch Face. She currently directs the improv teams Idiot Box and Shuffle Ball Change, and is a proud co-producer and co-host of The Kerfuffle, a monthly variety show that has quickly become a Boston favorite. She is also an improv instructor with Fine Line Comedy and a faculty member of the Boston College Theatre Department. Jackie is a proud Akron, Ohio native and has a special place in her heart for the Harold, Sanford Meisner, and bourbon. You can follow her on Twitter at @ItsJackieBtch.