Photo: © Depositphotos.com/Vaicheslav
Written by Annie Kozakiewicz

Annie received the art above as part of Volume Ten, “The Challenge Edition,” in which contributors selected art for each other. She used it as the basis of her work.

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vampMATCH.com

Sink your teeth into the possibility of love!

About Me:
Yo. I’m Dylan.

Don’t let the pic fool u. I may look 16 but I’m actually 357 (358 in March!) years old. I’m not the kind of guy who usually does this but my friends told me to try it out. Lol.

Anyways, my name is Dylan. Did I say that already? Haha. I’m a vampire located in the greater Orlando area.

I was one of the people turned during the great Space Mountain incident of 1979. (Don’t ask me for details, the government has me under a strict NDA). Most of my friends are the guys who also turned on that night, and we share a pretty dope condo just north of Church Street. Beer Pong Champs 2015-current!

In my free time, I like to throw back some foamers with my boys, play a little night time vball (can’t risk a sunburn lol), and play Call of Duty. My bros and I are basically the mayors of Chillers, so if u recognize me, it’s probably from Dollar Holler or Nickel Beer Wedesday.

I’m looking for a girl who is chill. No fatties, crazies, or B- bloodtypes need apply (yes, a size 6 is fat). It’s a plus if you like games or like to game. Vodka Cranberries are 4 bitches. Cooking is also a plus. Make me a sandwich lol. Must b a night person because of my schedule. Must be open to me biting other chicks. I smoke a lot, so you either gotta be cool with that, or down to smoke. Must be willing to DD every once in a while. A lady in the streets but a freak in the bed!!!

HMU if your hot!

PS: I drive a Range Rover if that matters lol

Interests:
Movies: Anchorman, Fight Club, Inception, The Dartk Knight, Billy Madison, Boogie Nights, Scarface

Books: (none)

TV: Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, Entourage, Eastbound and Down

Sports: Football, Baseball, Basketball, Volleyball, Wrestling, Wrestling (Professional), Hockey, Soccer, Rugby, Equestrian

I’m Looking For:
Height: 4’10 – 5’7
Relationship Status: Single, Not Divorced
Body Type: Slim, Athletic and Toned
Blood Type: A (+/-), B(+), O(+/-)
Hair: Brown, Blonde, Red
Eyes: Blue
Religion: None Listed
Race/Ethnicity: White/Caucasion, Latin American
Children: None, Doesn’t Want Any
Drinking: Socially, Heavy Drinker
Smoking: Yes

 

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Annie Kozakiewicz is a Boston based writer and comedian.