by Rachel Frieden
Photo: © Depositphotos.com/tankist276
Planning the most important day of your life can get overwhelming, even for the most put-together ladies. We’ve been through it, and have come up with some ways to lessen the stress and up the joy!
1. Figure Out What Matters.
There are a lot of options out there for brides-to-be, and the choices can be overwhelming. Take some time to yourself, light some candles, close your eyes, and really envision your perfect day. Is there a theme? A color scheme? A location you really love? Focus on those things, and the rest will fall into place.
2. Talk To Your Vendors.
The people who provide the services you need – florists, caterers, photographers and the like – do this every day. They might lose sight of what matters – YOU! Help them remember that this is your special day, and that it’s their mission objective to help you to really make it special. After all, just because hydrangeas are popular and inexpensive doesn’t mean they have to be part of your dream day!
3. Skimp On the Small Stuff.
The services that matter most to you should be where you focus your resources. Allocate the big bucks for what you need (like a caterer who specializes in gluten-free delicacies, or a titanium-reinforced strongbox) and figure out ways to get crafty and creative on the details. (Do you know how many ways there are to use a mason jar or a salad fork? LOTS.)
4. Figure Out Your Friendships.
In this digital age, it can be hard to remember who your friends are, and who was just your partner during that situation in Abu Dhabi five years ago that you haven’t seen since. Really think about whom you want with you on your special day. Feelings might get hurt, but your real friends would die for you. Some of them already have.
5. Say Yes to the (Perfect) Dress!
Of course your spouse is important, but we all know where every eye will be on The Big Day – ON YOU!! So make sure to find the dress that makes you feel like the most special version of yourself. The one that brings a tear to your mother’s eye, that you can’t wait to be seen in, and that has a hidden holster for extra rounds. If you’re hitting up a sample sale, remember: all’s fair in love and wedding dresses, so don’t be afraid to use all the skills you have at your disposal to get what you want. You didn’t spend eighteen months in a Shao Lin temple with Master Xiao for nothing.
6. Stay Organized.
It can be easy to get lost in a sea of lists. Guests, addresses, what gifts they gave, security clearances, who eats meat and who doesn’t… It can make your head spin! Use technology to your advantage and created shared online documents that your beloved can update and help you keep on top of things! Use your connections at the NSA to set your encryption. Frank still owes you one after Bahrain.
7. Let Them Eat Cake!
This is the fun part! But too many brides feel pressure to please everyone and end up with a dessert that’s boring instead of something that truly symbolizes you and your union. Hubby loves carrot cake? Get a carrot cake! Maybe your Nana Betty made a strawberry rhubarb pie that won All-County for thirty-seven years until the accident last fall; get that recipe to the bakery and tell them to hop to it! Be sure to supply guests with anti-toxins, just to be safe. Nana Betty had enemies. Many, many enemies.
8. The Great Getaway.
Planning a honeymoon on top of a wedding can feel like the straw that broke your camel Francisco’s back that time you saved the Jordanian Prime Minister in ’03, but the stress and minutia of wedding planning can get taxing, even for the most relaxed bride. A honeymoon gives you something to plan that’s just for the two of you and your security detail! Remember to renew your passport! It’s at Port Authority, southeast of the Russian woman selling the pink hydrangeas. Locker B307, behind the false wall, under the grey sweatshirt and in the pages of the copy of Glamour from Summer ’03. That was a good year. I miss Francisco. Good boy, Francisco. Good boy.
9. Music Makes The People Come Together.
Don’t forget, it’s a party!! Let’s dance!! Deciding between a DJ and a band is something many brides struggle with. Bands lend a certain “special event” sort of class, while a DJ will have a broader catalogue of songs and require much less set-up. Whatever fits your vision, keep in mind that many of your attendees are sleeper agents, so make sure that no one plays Van Morrison’s “Jackie Wilson Said (I’m In Heaven When You Smile)” under ANY circumstance.
10. Make Time For Each Other.
Scheduling alone time doesn’t sound sexy, but it’s crucial to spend ten minutes away from the adoring crowds with only your lawfully wedded selves during the evening. Take some deep breaths, look into each other’s eyes, laugh about how cute the flower girl was, and then return the calls from the President. He needs you in Abu Dhabi again.
Following these ten simple rules will help ensure the wedding you’ve always wanted, and that helps keep America safe. DREAM BIG!!!
Rachel Frieden has been improvising, writing, and performing in Boston for more than 10 years. Currently, she directs two-man improv team Hell Train and tells stories to her dog.