Written by Ann Feehan
Photo: © Depositphotos.com/ra2studio

I’m a rock star, baby.  Gonna get this client’s proposal done.  No doubt about it. Thirty-eight hours till the Monday morning presentation. Not a problem. Don’t need to go out.  Can order food in.  Can order weed in.  Get me some Sunday Brunch tomorrow morning.  Bacon, bacon, bacon for this artist.  Rock star Graphic Converter, par excellence.  No stopping me.

Upload, upload, spit it out, print it out.  Out damn specs.   

Here we go.  Who says I’m not an artist?  “Real artists use real mediums.  Using a real world material changes you; it changes your art. “  Well, Aunt Kathy, it just ain’t so.  Just ain’t so.  Your paints aren’t my tools; your canvas is smaller than mine.  I wouldn’t say it to your face, but it is true, true, true.

O.k.  Here we go.  Thirty-eight hours.  I am doing this. I’m not going out. Not going out with Larry again.  Last night was enough for one weekend. Three bars, seven – no nine drinks, five women to flirt with and one to bring home.  Definitely chose the right one!  Enough sex but, damn, I ended up with too much of a headache this morning.  This afternoon.  Whatever.  I’m up now, I’m alert, I’m doing this.

Just do anything to start.  Get the juices going.

O.K. Side project.  Twenty-minute side project. Grab an image and have some fun.  Google images?  “Cannibals”.  Damn that is dark.  “Survivor”.  Only the damn t.v. Show.  Survivor and plane crash.  Dark, again.  Survivor and helicopter.  Bingo.  Time to play.  

“Play is just as important to an artist as to a child.  You learn by what captures your attention.”  Thanks, Aunt Kathy.  Good advice. Sorry I can’t come visit you. I got to get this presentation done.  Sorry.

Yes…the copter carrying the jeep.  This is cool.  I’m a rock star baby.  And …who shall we put in the jeep… or below the jeep?   Do not put the client’s logo under the jeep.  Ooops.  Sorry too late.  The mouse is quicker than the prohibitions.  And, let’s go back and put those cannibals inside the helicopter.  Yes.  Yes.  Definitely.  Ah, the darkness of the artist’s mind.  The immediacy of creating with graphics.  Instant collage.  Instant gratification.  You create something cool and you get hard without even knowing it.  Art as foreplay.   A jack off with no hands required.  Well, not at first.

I’m going to put Gomer Pyle as the driver of the jeep.  Priceless.  If you get the reference.  Nah, even if you don’t. “Don’t doubt your instincts.”

I will not.  I don’t doubt myself.   I do NOT regret giving up the paintbrush.  I am empty handed and FULL.  I scatter my images to the world.  I am a viral artist.  Watch me.  Hell, watch out for me.

 

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Ann Feehan is a trained actor and improviser and likes getting into other character’s heads.  Ann has written an odd assortment of things – user’s manuals for software, firm manuals, and surgery prep lists.